The Ballerina From God

Calling Out to Jesus

I left the apartment that night around 10pm after grocery to give my boyfriend some space. I drove out toward the parking lot of the Central Market and on the way I was praying to God how I wanted to leave the world behind and just give my life to Jesus. I told God that I didn't want my life or anything in it if it wasn't with Jesus, and I didn't want anything in the world without Jesus. My life on it’s own without God suddenly felt so worthless and without real value if God wasn’t in it. When I got to the parking lot and prayed, nothing happened. I was confused. I felt nothing in my heart, no vision, no nothing. What had just happened? I just had this vision from God and here I was crying to Jesus seated on His throne in Heaven, giving Him my life, and nothing was happening. I even yelled up to Heaven, "Do you hear me, Jesus?! Are you there?!" I felt so discouraged and worried that nothing was happening, I began to cry. I didn't know what else to do but call my mom.

Calling Mom

When I called my mom, I sobbed on the phone and we ended up talking for maybe an hour. I told her everything that had just happened, crying and sobbing, how God came to me and showed me He loved me and all of humanity. She began to cry, too, thanking God. She had been going to a church where her and people on the prayer team there had been praying for my salvation for seven years. I had no idea. I asked her why nothing was happening because I was giving my heart to Jesus just like I knew it said in the bible. Why wasn't it working?

Trust in God

She calmed me down and said I want you to do something: Trust. I said, "What do you mean?" I don't understand what that means." She said, "Trust. I want you to trust that even though you aren't feeling anything or seeing anything from God, that God hears you." "Okay," I said. That was very perplexing to me. I was an evidence girl who trusted in what I saw and what I felt. What I felt God was asking me to do was to trust beyond evidence. I was expecting some sort of spiritual evidence that God heard me like a vision or for God to speak audibly to me, but here my mom was asking to me trust without evidence. I nearly had a heart attack. I didn't know what that meant to trust, but okay.

The Other Grocery Store

I hung up the phone and drove to the next grocery store parking lot trying to calm myself down and trust God! "Trust, trust, trust…" I kept repeating, hoping it would just happen. I pulled into the parking lot around 3am, trying to calm myself down and trust God that He heard my prayer.

The Ballerina of Light

There was a tree above my car that reminded me of the tree I saw in the vision. It was a young tree, that looked beautiful swaying in the wind, but was grounded. I looked to tree as though God was like the tree, that God was in the tree, and within everything. When I understood God was with me and within everything, I trusted from within my heart. When I trusted within my heart, I felt so much peace, love, and joy that completely melted away my fears. A golden light came out my heart in the shape of a double-helix and a ballerina came out of my heart within the double-helix dancing towards Heaven. I had dreamt of being a ballerina at a young age, but I gave up on that dream because I was not favored in classes for my lack of coordination, and I lost all confidence in pursuing my dream, but to God I was a ballerina. I was dancing towards Heaven in my soul and I felt so much Peace that all of my fears completely vanished. I had never felt such an absence of fear in my entire life.

You are made for Peace, Love, and Joy

God Bless,
Kathryn Elsie